Limbo: Does time really make EVERYthing better?

When there is a not-so-happy or disturbing experience (replace with traumatic/embarrassing.. take your pick) all that comes to mind for a while is the bad stuff. Only the memories that lead to the demise of that experience remain. It's like the good never happened. You sulk for a bit, fall in to a pattern, and then decide to grow up.. let the past be, and move on with your life. After a while, the bad stuff does not seem so bad anymore. After a while longer, you actually start to remember the good stuff. Even at this point, it's all black and white. You take in to account everything, both good and bad, and pat yourself on the back for standing your ground. You've moved on.

Fast forward some more.. the bad stuff starts to disappear, leaving more room for the hippocampus to flex some muscle and reel in the good. By this time, there has been enough advancement in life to not take the past in to consideration at all. But that's where the clarity ceases. Set foot in to the grey zone. Was it really that bad an experience to warrant a permanent death sentence from life altogether? Oh wait, warning bells go off in the distance. It all seems too familiar somehow. But instinct is reasoned with emotion, and all logic goes out the door.. taking the ringing bells with it.

The final leap in time.. and then you find yourself beyond zones. Does the past have any place in the present? Or maybe in the future? Will you regret not finding out? Before you know it, you are climbing the steps towards limbo. No man's land. One wrong step at this juncture could spell doom. Years worth of progress, wiped out in an instant. Or it could give you answers without which the present and the future are incomplete. Answers that can put a padlock on this time machine that goes back to revisit the scene.. over and over again.

Time is supposed to make everything better. But every now and then, it doesn't. It takes black and white, and turns it in to grey. And it doesn't end there. Time then teleports you to a place where you cannot discern the difference. Sometimes, time does not make everything better. It puts you in limbo.

Colored Stripes of Change

Happy 2010! That was six months back. Time flies? No shit.

If someone had told me back then that this is what my life would be like, six months down the road, I would have chuckled! Landing a job right as I was graduating, discovering the joy of working brutally long hours at said job, learning to be dependent on someone else other than myself, its been quite the change.

Change is good. Change is inevitable. After all, it's the only thing that remains constant. I haven't quite made peace with all these changes. And yet, there is a weird sense of normalcy, that of being in a routine. I keep drifting away with the winds of change, only to be reeled in occasionally by a strong tug that invokes a comforting feeling. That of being home.

But it's ironic as well. Because I hardly feel at home where I reside. Every piece of furniture, from the luxurious leather sofa that I am lying on as I type this, to the colored stripes of the oven mittens, the tiniest of details carry my imprint. Then why the sense of detachment? Why am I awake at 2 AM when I have everything I need right next to me? That is a question I cannot answer right now. I can only look up at the night sky, bracing myself for the winds of change to bear down and whisk me away again.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Here I am, in San Jose, yet again. Phase 2. (Or 3?) A new beginning to an impending end. New friends, apartment, roomies, even students, but an old sense of familiarity. Countdown to joining the rat race (aka job hunting) - 2 odd months. Resurrection of my third blog. You perhaps don't know me well enough if you haven't experienced the demise of my other 2 - No thanks to procrastination, moments of incredulous stupidity and a crazy stalker ex. We've all been there! Okay maybe not the crazy stalker ex part but we shall let that one slide. May this one last longer. I mean the blog, just FYI.

Searching for inspiration. Finding it in bursts. And when it bursts, so shall a new post. Categories? Just about anything. Science - I AM a biotech geek at heart. My prized possession of the moment - Currently my 3GS. Random ramblings - I heart procrastination. World Peace - Don't you love me already? Lather, Rinse, Repeat.